I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
