you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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