i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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