Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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