...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Non-Jews are for practice
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
