Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
