Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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