I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
