I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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