Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
