is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
