we're blogging at a bar
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize