..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
