he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
