wanna go halves on a baby?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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