I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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