dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
