I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize