Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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