Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
