I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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