I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
COCAINE IS GR8
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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