She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
