Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
