I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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