i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sorry about my life...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
