Where is the hickey?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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