My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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