Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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