...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
