Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
