I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
