i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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