i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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