i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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