I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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