Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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