I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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