we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
