sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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