can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
