Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize