Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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