Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
