Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
