she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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