i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
