im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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