at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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