make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
