all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
