The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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