Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
