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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....

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• (626): View more from California

  she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Fuck you.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.

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• (631): View more from New York

  does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"

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• (760): View more from California

  Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You humped everything and cried in an uber.

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  Ours, apparently.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Thank you for always being there for me.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?

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