this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
