I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
