Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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