Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We got so high we made milksteak
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
