He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
