Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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