Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
