? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
