I wannas sexs uuuuu
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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