Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize