wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
