Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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