Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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