i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I forget how to act sober
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
