"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
