my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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