he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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