What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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