I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
