So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
