Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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